you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
