i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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