He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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