My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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