Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
