Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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