By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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