If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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