You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im holly from the hills drunk
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
