I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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