Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
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my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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I don't deserve a penis
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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