My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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