i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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