You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
