Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
