i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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