Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
