I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My first STD was from a foam party
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
