thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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