She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
