the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
