Whod you bang
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
