she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she pinky promised me she was 18
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
