i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
My liver just had a heart attack.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
