so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
