you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
