I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
