i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
All I want is dick and wine.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize