69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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