he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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