then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
