so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
