only if we run a train.
done.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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