Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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