So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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