he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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