I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
should my penis look like a turkey
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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