Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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