At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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