imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize