I am puke
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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