And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
