No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Everyone says I win the strip club
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
