she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
grandma shit on top of the toilet
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
