I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
