Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
