We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
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HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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