Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
