Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize