Cold hands, warm shart.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
