My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
