it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
