Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
