For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
