apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just puked most of my soul out..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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