hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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