She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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