remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
