? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
