stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just had sex on a roof
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
