It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
